PHONETIC FOOLISHNESS

H.L. Vogelsang

If YOU pronounce HEAD, DEAD, and BEARD,

You’ll hear the last word rhymes with DEED,

And in this “poem” you will surely find,

Many items of this kind.

For instance:

DEAR and FEAR and HEAR but BEAR

GEAR and TEAR but “WEAR and TEAR,”

YEAST and LEAST and PLEASED but PLEASANT,

MEANT and PEAT but SWEAT and GREAT

(The last word rhymes with FREIGHT and WEIGHT.)

Quite differently again is HEIGHT,

Which sounds like BITE, INDICT, and LIGHT.

The next line should be read with CARE:

The PRAYING PRAYER says his PRAYER.

BEAN and LEAN and MEAN but MEANT;

Note “g” in GET, in GEM, and GENT.

VICE but CREVICE, ADVICE, and DEVICE,

LICE but MALICE, POLICE, CONCISE.

We say DREAMT but also DREAMED

(The last word rhyming with ESTEEMED).

GREW and BLEW and NEW but SEW,

COW and ROW but SOW and ROW.

MEASLES does not sound like measure;

The same applied to TREASON – TREASURE.

BRAID and MAID and LAID but SAID,

TREAT but THREAT and THREAD but TREAD.

A PRISON is often called a JAIL.

Which word is also written: GAOL.

Now note the difference with GOAL.

Which rhymes with FOAL and DOLE and ROLL.

OWL and JOWL are not like BOWL;

Try FOWL then GHOUL and lastly SOUL,

We say FREAK and STREAK but STEAK

LEAK and FREAK and SPEAK but BREAK

MEADOW has the sound of “ed.”

Note: LEAD and LEAD, READ and READ,

WEAR and WEARY, HEARD but BEARD,

DREAD but DREARY, EARNED but FEARED,

BAIT and GAIT and STRAIT but PLAID.

Leave out the “g” in GNAW and GNAT.

SWARD but SWORD and WORD by LORD,

LOAD and TOAD and ROAD but BROAD.

CEREAL does not sound like SEAL,

REAL not like ZEAL and HEAL.

First say DANGER then say ANGER

COUNT but COUNTRY; SOUTHERN – SOUTH,

DISGUISE but BRUISE, YOUTH and HAUNT

BROOK but BROOCH and BROOD but BLOOD.

HOOD but MOOD and FOOD but FLOOD.

MINT but PINT and CORK but WORK,

DULL and GULL and HULL but FULL,

LULL and SKULL but BULL and PULL

OUR, FLOUR but TOUR and POUR.

We say BONE and LONE, but GONE

Pronounce like DON or DAWN.

TONE and STONE and THRONE but DONE,

PHONE and HOME and SCONE but NONE.

Now, reader, always bear in mind

The difference ‘tween WIND and WIND

(The latter  rhymes with RIND and KIND).

BREATHE but BREATH and FEATHER, LEATHER,

LETHAL, NETHER; EITHER – TETHER;

GIDDY, GIVE but GESTURE and GIN.

BURY is pronounced like BERRY.

In CHASTE and CHOP and CHIN.

Quite different from “ch” in ANCHOR,

Which rhymes like TANKER and with BANKER.

CHEMIST – CHASM – CHOIR

COUGH and VOUCH and POUCH but TOUCH,

BUTCHER does not sound like CRUTCH.

OVER has the spelling of LOVER

And of GLOVE and DOVE and COVER.

HOVER is not pronounced like CLOVER.

Which sounds like DOVER and like ROVER.

LEVER rhymes with NEVER and SEVER,

Sounds quite different, however.

Now have a shot of EVIL – DEVIL,

REVEAL and REVEL: “on the LEVEL,”

DESERT and DESSERT, SOME and HOME.

TOMB and WOMB; BOMB but COMB,

LIFE – ALIVE – LIVE but LIVE.

GAUZE but GAUGE; BELIEVE but SIEVE,

SHOULD is different from SHOULDER;

The same applied to COULD and BOULDER.

BOUND but WOUND and RUSH but PUSH.

LUMBER – PLUMBER, RUSH but BUSH;

EVE but EWE and FROTH – BETROTH.

No “t” is heard in FASTEN, HASTEN,

Which make them rhyme with ARSON – MASON;

The same applies to LISTEN – SOFTEN;

NASTY – HASTY, FASTER – CHASER;

MASTER – PLASTER, TASTER – WASTER;

HOSE but LOSE; CANOE but WOE.

WORM but FORM and DOLL but TOLL,

HORSE but WORSE and LOST but POST,

COST and FROST but MOST and GHOST,

CALM but VALVE and BALL but PAL,

TALL but TALLY; GALL but GAL

STAR and BAR and PAR but WAR

I wonder if you want some more?

If so, try REALM – CREATED – TREATED

HEINOUS – FEIGN – WEIRD – VEIL – CONCEITED

SHEIK – SLEIGH – SLEIGHT – SKEIN – SWETED – SEATED

DEBATE – ATE – SENATE. Can you beat it?